Strength TogetHER 26 - Session 4

20th April, 2022

Strength TogetHER provided a safe space for girls to share personal stories and experience which brings change in attitudes and lives. They get to explore and express themselves which helps to unburden themselves and create meaning. 

Girls discuss their issues and come up with solutions that group members can support each other with. They learn to speak up and share their stories to the group which is relatable to almost all girls. They are empowered by the story they share and learn new lessons after every session they attend. 

With the support of the WOW team, British council we expanded our Strength TogetHER sessions in Karmahawa School, Lumbini with a group of 35 girls which was divided into groups of 13 and 22 girls from grade 11 and 12 respectively. 

On 20th April, 2022 we started our 4th session on the topic, “Gender Stereotype”. This was a virtual session. We began our session by asking our participants if they know what gender stereotype (in Nepali, Laingik Bibhedata) is. Our participants shared that it's a division and difference in the way a person is treated, and assigned responsibilities for being a girl or a boy. They added that there has always been an obvious difference in society in many ways in treatment of boys and girls. 

One of the participants shared, there is usually a huge celebration where parents hand out sweets to relatives and neighbors when a baby boy is born in the family, whereas when a baby girl is born then the parents get sad and do not celebrate the birth in the family. They added that there’s also a visible difference in the way neighbors and relatives congratulate a family on the basis of a son or daughter's birth in the family. 

Boys are allowed to play sports and be involved in outdoor activities while girls are confined to working at home from a small age, shared our other participant. Another added that boys are neither expected nor allowed to work in the kitchen and do house chores while girls are forced to do it.  Our other participants added that boys are sent to a good boarding school while girls are sent to public schools as there is a belief that girls are to be sent away to another family’s house after marriage and providing them good education would not benefit them, and consider it as an added burden. 

Boys get to pursue higher education but girls are forced to stop their education after high school. Boys are also allowed to travel and stay in a different city to complete their studies but girls aren’t allowed and are often married off after and sometimes even before completing their high school. Adding on to the topic, they also shared that boys got to choose who they marry but girls are not allowed to do so. 

They collectively shared that being from a small village there aren’t any colleges nearby they can go to for their Bachelors/ undergrad degree. They have to either travel daily to another village or, go to stay in a town for their education. But, being girls they are not allowed to stay or travel long routes without supervision. They are also not allowed to roam or travel around with their friends. On the other hand, boys get to do everything without any restrictions. 

One of our participants shared that she was criticized for being tall. They added that girls are also expected to speak in a low voice, do all house chores, not laugh loudly, and stay at home unlike boys who are allowed to go out without restrictions and any expectations to do chores. 

We then discussed how these stereotypes have affected their lives. They shared that they feel sad and have limited their vision to dream big. They also said that being a daughter feels like a crime sometimes. They realized that these are common problems that not one but all of them faced. 

Moving forward, we asked our participants what could be their role in changing these stereotypes. Our participants shared that the first step they are taking is studying hard and getting better grades even by studying in public school. This can help them win over their parent’s trust. And, since their generation is educated  they can start to bring change by starting small like wishing a big Congratulations both when a baby girl or a boy is born, trying to change perspectives of their family members, and not discriminating between boy and girls in any way, and having the back of other girls of society as one girl’s wrong action in a village can badly influence other girl’s fate. They added that learning how to be safe on their own is something they are practicing  and working on. 

Finally we concluded the session by noting that girls have their rights to freedom and education. And, exercising them is important. Making little changes from today is what will definitely bring a bigger change in society in future.